The internet reacted strongly this weekend as the trailer to Director J.J. Abrams new Star Wars movie went viral online. The biggest talking point seemed to be the entirely-practical design of the new Sith Lightsaber. Clearly nothing could ever go wrong with a lightsaber hilt with no hand-guards.
Star Wars screenwriter Michael Arndt confirmed that only six Sith were harmed during filming with the new lightsaber. However, fans shouldn’t be surprised that the envelope of lightsaber design is continuing to be pushed. After all, we’ve all witnessed the evolution of the lightsaber with other Sith Lords such as Darth Maul and General Greivous.
But another treat fans can now expect are leaked images obtained from a disgruntled Disney employee who wishes to remain anonymous. The lightsaber leaks reveal the original concept art Disney grappled with before ultimately deciding upon the hilted lightsaber.
“We wanted the new lightsaber to be as stunning as possible,” stated Abrams in response to the leaks. “We went through countless designs trying to find the most appropriate design for our intended target audience. The problem was that we couldn’t decide on who our targeted audience was. Since everyone knows that Jews are really the ones that run Hollywood, and since I myself am Jewish, we figured we should pay our respects and begin there. As a result, my first choice was the Menorah-Saber.”
“But the design didn’t go over very well with everyone else that was not Jewish,” continued Abrams. “Next, we considered that Disney movies generally are targeted towards young children, so we decided to attempt to make Star Wars more kindergarten friendly. There’s an enormous untapped potential there, so we designed the Balloon-Animal-Saber…”
“…however it did not test well internally on its actual effectiveness in battle. We then tried creating the Sith-Army-Knife.”
“I actually really liked this one. I thought its practical uses and the possibilities were endless. But it was brought to my attention that there isn’t really a practical need for a laser cork screw, when you can already just slice through a cork quite easily with the existing lightsaber design. We continued to test design after design after design…”
“It ultimately came down to practicality. Although they looked totally B.A., most of the designs just didn’t seem to scream Star Wars like I wanted. We ended up just deciding on the medieval-sword-looking-hilted-lightsaber, as it seemed the most inclusive.”
The disgruntled employee who exposed the leaks also revealed early concept art for the upcoming Episode 8 lightsaber:
But the biggest reveal of all came in the form of what the new Jedi Lightsabers would look like:
Internal polls are currently being conducted on the new Jedi Lightsaber’s appeal with the religious crowd. Early results are positive.
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