I do not believe your Bible study leader meant you should literally ‘hate’ your mother. What they meant is that God is supposed to be Number One in all of our lives. He is supposed to come before family, before love, before money, before everything.
Matthew 6:33 (NIV)
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
We are to seek the Kingdom of God first, because ultimately, God and the riches he has waiting for us in Heaven, are greater than everything that we will ever encounter here on Earth. Does this mean that we should not love others as well, and neglect our necessities for survival? Of course not. But we are supposed to look to God first in everything we do, and if we do that, all of the rest will fall into place. God will provide.
Philippians 4:19 (NIV)
19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
I don’t know if I would have ever used that comparison of hating your mother compared to your love of God. In fact, the Bible teaches us not to hate, but to love:
Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)
15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
1 Peter 3:8-22
8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,
“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”[a]
13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear[b]; do not be frightened.”[c] 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, 19through whom[d] also he went and preached to the spirits in prison 20who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge[e] of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at God’s right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.
5Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
So if you were offended because you felt that your leader was telling you that we should hate, then I could see why you would think that. But I do not believe that is what your leader was trying to get across. Christians should, however, seek God first, and put God first in EVERY aspect of our lives, which includes our parents and family, as difficult as that may be.